Not a Starbucks within a hundred miles

Not a Starbucks within a hundred miles
Nov 11, 2008, 05:40 pm
Hunting with firepower out in South Dakota is what I did after Philadelphia released me. I had called my brother Matt to inform him that my wandering in Philadelphia was over, so he offered his condolences in the form of a hunting trip. He did warn me that there wouldn’t be a Starbucks within a hundred miles, though. Much obliged, I headed west.

When I jokingly asked if I could wear Calvin Klein loafers out in hunting country, my bro just scoffed and informed me he would make the necessary arrangements. The local Cabelas had more than enough gear to bring this city kid back to his country roots.

He really went all out in making me look like a hunter. Kind of like Jared Reiner the golfer, I look like a pro, but looks can be deceiving. You can never have enough shells for your Camouflaged Beretta is what he kept telling me. Shells are cheap, so keep shooting is his mantra. Just picture Rambo on stilts.

Yeah, but I did say firepower in that first paragraph? If I ever need to start a war with someone, or if anyone wants to start a war with me, the first place I will go is my brother’s house. We could hold up in his bunkhouse like an old western movie showdown. Hiding behind a tipped over table, we could yell things like ‘Is that you Sheriff? We ain’t coming out til your yella behind comes in here and makes us come out.’ No crap, we could.

But Matt was right in that a boys’ hunting trip is just what I needed. Being released from an NBA team is especially tough, but this time it really hurt. Guess not many players can say they went to a team’s camp and didn’t miss a shot in a game. Ok, three for three isn’t that hard, but seven-foot white guys usually don’t get paid to score. I thought that I truly had played my way onto the team, but this just goes to show that sometimes things are out of your control.

I had my fingers crossed after they cut the roster to the maximum of fifteen players and I was still alive. A couple other people in business had even called me to congratulate me, but I told them to hold off on the pats on the back. Somewhere deep down inside I had the feeling that the killing just wasn’t done.

So now what? I have been mulling over different offers all across the world, including exotic places like China and Sioux Falls. Take the money and run in China? Take a risk and go to Sioux Falls and pray for a call-up? Or take a secure job in Europe?

What shall I do? I guess I will just need to get back on the horse and hope he isn’t headed for the sunset…

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